Factory Defect - My itching hand

Thank God for restraining power!

Because for real, I have a pretty sneaky factory defect.  If a man's in front of me and he's either too close or he doesn't notice that he's in my space, moved me out of the way or is being rude or obnoxious. I feel the urge to grab their booties or pinch them just to let them know

"By the way, sweet cheeks, I'm right behind you"

Oh the temptation to grab a backside, especially when the guy is so into himself or thinks I'm invisible that he is just ignoring my existence. That happens because, you know I'm an introvert and we're ever in ninja mode.

Maybe my ninja mode is useful for some things.

Like pinching that Wall Street type power broker with the arrogant face. Just so that he can realize he is not safe. Not with ladies like me lurking with itchy hands. .  .

Is her hand where I think it is?!!

But I realize that I can't slap @##es because the mood strikes me. It says in the bible that while everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial. I won't get much out of it except maybe a summons, possible jail time, and a whole lot of men wondering why I'm so touchy feely and I don't even know them.  And it's not nice to disrespect others no matter what is going through my mind. 

But the temptation is there. Which means I'm actually a functional human being. So even if the temptation is right in front of me.  .  .  . like a few inches in front of me. I won't do it, because even when there's temptation, there is a way out. Thank God. 

Like Joseph and Potiphar's Wife. I shall resist!!!!

Sunday Blog - AM/BW groups . . . so . . . . yeah

I'm a member of numerous AM/BWgroups (in introvert terms, that means I troll them suckers until I am comfortable answering a post. .  . don't judge me). It's okay. I'm not trying to meet anyone on the internet these days - LOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGG story that ends with Alanis Morrisette  being played while photos get sliced up with a butter knife. But that's another post.

This one is about the state of females in general these days and the thought of being an actual lady in your bearing. Many women seem to think it's okay to be less than ladylike to get a man's attention. I don't know why it seems legit to put your booty, boobs, and naked flesh out there in hopes to find a good man. I'm not seeing the logic. Are you really looking for a good man or are you looking for a jump off? I'm just asking because I see it a lot in my groups. Now, if that's how you want to get down, by all means twerk and jiggle until your heart's content. If it's getting a man's attention and that's what you want go right ahead. But I wonder, and follow me now because I'm probably about to piss some of these girls off. Especially in the arena of interracial dating, it's bad enough that Black women are usually portrayed as oversexed, easy lays, and ignorant. Shouldn't we be careful how we show ourselves to others? Again if you are in fact oversexed, an easy lay, and ignorant, be true to yourself, boo. I'm not telling you to change anything. But I feel like that image will attract the wrong man regardless if he's Black, White, Latino, Native, Samoan, Asian, or unspecified. Why do you think doing the same thing in a different arena will give you different results? Or maybe again, you like being used and discarded, having pretty interracial babies but no ring to show for it, or you're not looking for a relationship at all you're just experimenting. I'm cool with that. Again, do you. But for us who are ladies in the realest sense of the word (You ain't seeing nothing on this body unless we're on our honeymoon, hunty, This is expensive real estate!), it makes it kind of crappy to be in these groups and see the goings ons and wondering if I was trying to meet someone with sense in the group, I probably won't because of their expectations.

Or maybe I'm a killjoy and I'm reading too much into this.  .  .

Or maybe my expectations for women and men are higher than they should be.  .   .

Or maybe I should put on something tight and revealing and show myself off on Thirsty Thursdays. If I get a man's attention, why not?

Or maybe the same idiots exist no matter what their outer appearance is and I need to steer clear of these men regardless so the nekkid sisters with no filter in the groups are actually helping me in my weeding process.

In that case, good looking out, twerking, naked girl! You're doing me a great service.


(And that my friends, is me being sarcastic. God forgive me!)

Church folks

Short blog on this Sunday because I'm just having a lot of thoughts after this church service.

Wow, we church folks are messed the math up!

Oh we're good during the service! But yo.  .  .  .!

Sunday Blog: Well, My God isn't . . .

I have had conversations with individuals, usually when the world reminds us just how crappy humanity can get if left to its nature, and there is always someone who says something along the lines of  "Well, my god would never allow this to happen". 

Or, if we're talking about some doctrinal belief that may not make the person feel comfortable, they may say "Well, my god isn't like that and .  .  .  ." 

God has been called "Goddess", "Higher Being", "Higher Conscious" etc. I even saw "The Goddess, The Daughter, and the Spirit" somewhere in my travels. I say to each his or her own. You can have a god who is of your design and accepts what you do, say, or believe. Many people believe that god is a construct anyway. A figment of the imagination of the desperate. An opiate for the masses, fairytales and myth. The tool of the stupid. I have heard it all. 

But let me tell you about the God I choose to serve: 

He is designer of the universe. The most precise designer of infinity down the very structure of the cells in my body. He created the universe with a word with such precision and accuracy that if our earth moved an iota to the right or left, we would not be here. Please tell me if happenstance can pull that off.  

He is the author of all truth. He has set laws in this universe that like it or not, exist. We have the choice to  either  follow or not. But there are consequences to a denial of the absolute. Ask yourself why compassion is dying, why the rich become more vicious and the generations are losing parts of themselves. It's not religion that's doing it. It's a denial of the absolute truths of this world. 

He is not governed by whether we want him or not. He exists outside of us. So if we choose not to believe, His power and relevance does not diminish. Unlike the gods of the ancient world, He's still God, not myth. It's one of the reasons why when an atheist tells me they don't believe, I just shrug at them. He doesn't need their permission to live. He's been here before them, He'll exist after them. 

He is what the person of Christ portrays. He is compassion and truth. He is power and authority, He commands His creation without hesitation, He knows all of us intimately by name, He is God Almighty in the flesh. He is not a White man with hippy hair and a non violent message. He is not a Black man to make us more comfortable in our biased minds. He is not a man in a expensive suit on Sunday morning asking for you to pay for your salvation. My God didn't come to make a new religion, He came to bring us back to a right knowledge of who He really is. 

He is outside of my imagination because I could never create a God like him. He is not what I would see for myself and for my desires. My God isn't a fairy tale. My God isn't a myth. My God knows me by name and He is not something I can understand but I know that He is willing to give me some insight into who He is. My God is .  .   .  . and he doesn't need me to exist, but I need Him to survive.

Letter to Myself When The World Tries . . . .

Hey You,

Yeah, you. The one who claims to love Jesus so much. The one who is "on fire" and "Spirit led", what is this? How are you allowing human beings who can't even pinpoint the origin of any species or universe tell you who you are? Don't you get it? That person wants some control over who you are. And they don't deserve it because they didn't create you. Every nasty comment, every side eye, every off handed remark is a way of bringing you down so they can control how you act, what you do, and where you spend your emotional energy.  It's not to your benefit to listen to the negative voices in the world. Because none of them have the final say of where you're going.

Remember that your Father is King of Heaven, that's right He's King of Heaven and that makes you a Princess, which means you are royalty. You may not feel it, it may feel bleak some days but don't look down, that crown will fall off. Jesus didn't die on a cross for you to listen to the negativity of the world. He died so that when you write, you reach into the souls of men and let them know that your talent was not an accident. That when you sit in front of a person and listen to his or her struggle, that you are the extension of God who loves them enough to provide counselors in flesh to guide them out of darkness. You are created to be awesome, to walk with the assurance that you are in fact part of a royal family. There's no paupers.

And so what if that guy "doesn't date bigger girls" who is he? Just another human being who is trying to live. You should tell them what you don't want. You aren't trying to get his attention, he should be wondering if he's worthy of yours. No man is worth your pride or dignity. God knows what you need and he will provide a prince. And until then, your majesty, you go on your journey and let these haters be your motivators.

Sincerely, with Love

Princess Brooklynista

Fat Girl Fridays - OkCupid. . . .

What's with the men on dating sites anyway? That's not a rhetorical question. I really want to know!

I'm just not getting it.  .  .  . 

My last rash of men on OkCupid were just not the kind of men I would want to spend time with. Most were ready to see me buck nekkid before we got to coffee, others had weird behind fetishes that made me optimistic about my career choice (Therapy? I'm always gonna have a job!). Some of them were old behind men trying to mack a girl who is possibly old enough to be their daughter (54, sir? Really? Age ain't nothing but a number, but you're like AARP status, no offense, but no), others were 20 something or younger trying to find a cougar to take care of them. And then the ones that appear decent are so busy trying to play head games with me. Sir, I already know where you're going, pardon me if I get off here.

I'm pretty sure there are some decent, viable options on dating sites. There has to be because so many people have met their true love online, but it's obvious that the ones I'm attracting now are making me disillusioned and discouraged. Kind of like dating in the church (Another blog, Lawd, Another blog!!!) 

Oh Well, hopefully my prince will come. By himself, with a small amount of baggage.